I will be focusing the next series of blog posts on the special 10-15% of our children who are just that little bit more....or a lot, than their childhood counterparts. These are the energetic, boisterous, strong-minded, ardent, dramatic, charismatic, selective and assertive little super-stars that can often drive their parents and care givers to their wits end with all their "brightness". As you may know, I am the mother of two young boys ages 4 1/2 & 18 months and my oldest son is in this small percentage. This is a topic very close to my heart. Notice my careful selection of adjectives to describe these children. Society, or even ourselves as parents very commonly use a different set of adjectives to describe our children all the time without realizing how damaging they can be. Let me demonstrate by using the very same descriptive words in a negative light: wild, disruptive, argumentative, impatient, explosive, manipulative, picky and stubborn.
The difference is dramatic, isn`t it?
I know I`ve been guilty many times of using these negative words to describe my son, both with my peers and directly to him. I had no idea how powerful they were in determining how I truly saw him as well as how I was influencing what others chose to label him as. I came to realize how unfair I was being to him by expecting him to fit into a pre-conceived idea of what a "good boy" is. I`ve been reading a wonderful book by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka called "Raising Your Spirited Child" that has breathed fresh air and life into my approach to my own personal parenting challenges. It`s been so inspiring that I felt compelled to share my journey of what I`ve been learning with you.
Mary wisely refers to these children as simply being "more". They maybe melt down sooner, are extra particular as to how things need to play out, certain fabrics or clothing are unacceptable & enough to bring them to tears, may have constant & boundless energy and are always on the move, or may constantly argue and debate everything under the sun. Spirited children come in many different shapes and sizes and often exhibit traits that we admire in adults. Consider the hilarious comedian that makes you laugh until you cry, or the brilliant filmmaker with visionary talent, or maybe the social/political activist that inspires hundreds of thousands of people to move towards a major world change. Now consider what they may have been like as children.....something to think about.
Now, for those of you who are in this same boat as I and count to 10 at least 100 times every day and are masters of the deep cleansing breath, take heart. Your child is amazing, brilliant, creative and inspiring! In fact, they might just be major leaders, movers and shakers when their time comes. Support all that energy and cheer them on!
This is where Kindermusik aligns perfectly with what Mary is teaching. In each class, children are encouraged to engage in whatever way they need to at the time. There is never pressure to perform in any expected way and it`s the process that is always encouraged. Each activity can always be modified to suit the mood of each class at any given time and each personality is celebrated and respected. I can`t stress enough how much of a relief this kind of environment is for a mother of a spirited child. I speak from my own experience. No judgements...no expectations. Just freedom to have fun with your child.
No comments:
Post a Comment